I woke up this morning feeling very emotional. I don't know if this ever happens to anyone else so I will explain. I have only had less than a handful of people that I've been very close with pass away. The most recent has been my Grandpa and the first was a family friend/practically brother who passed away 3 years ago. Every once in a while I will have a dream about my friend. Ever since my Grandpa has been gone I have been hoping that I will dream about him too. You know when you just wish you could see their face again and visit with them? I have a picture of my Grandpa and I in my scriptures. When I'm done reading I will just sit there for a minute and look at this picture. This morning I woke up feeling like I had been around my Grandpa or close to him. But I don't remember ever seeing him.
I had a dream that I was standing in my grandparents backyard in Mesa on Jarvis. I was standing close to the back door and just looking around. I don't really have many memories until I'm about 10 or 11 years old. But I remembered this...so clear. My sisters and I used to play back there and we thought it was the best. We used to get into the garden and into the blackberry bushes. Oh those blackberries were yummy! There was a swing set on the other side of the garden and we used to swing on that forever. We would try and swing so high and get higher and higher. There were grapefruit trees back there that seemed at the time like a jungle. We would climb all the trees and have fun for hours in seemed! Sometimes we would even sneak into my Aunt Lexine's bedroom and snoop around in her things. We thought she was the coolest... most popular and beautiful thing ever! We would sneak into the freezers in the back of the house to find home made fruit leather that my Grandma made. We ate so much of that sometimes we would get sick. I just remember standing there and being flooded with an enormous amount of memories in that backyard. Most of all I remember the feelings I was having. I was overwhelmed with the feeling of love. I felt like I was with my Grandpa or that he was really close by.
When I woke up this morning I was bummed because I wanted to go back to that moment...I just wanted to go back. But I am so thankful for this moment. I have been very blessed today to have this feeling of love with me through out this whole day. I have been very grateful for today and especially for today being Easter. I have been able to reflect on a lot of things that are very special to me and still very tender. I have had all of these thoughts and feelings in my mind all day today and I just needed to get them out. This whole blog has really turned into my journal. I don't usually get very personal about myself but I couldn't help in sharing this today.
I am thankful for today because I have been able to reflect on the Savior and his sacrifice for me. I know he is mindful of me and I can feel of his love for me. I feel very blessed and loved. I'm so grateful for the dream that I had and the feelings I was having...in a backyard full of memories.
13 years ago
4 comments:
I loved that backyard too. Going back there during the summer everything looked so much smaller. I wish things didn't have to change. We had a wonderful childhood. Hopefully we can do the same things for our kids and our grandkids.
That is so special, Dara. I'm glad you shared that. What an enchanted place!
I love those moments when memories flood my mind and I get an overwhelming sense of gratitude. Gratitude for the plan. Gratitude for knowledge. Gratitude for families and purpose and time together. I am so grateful for the friendships and love that we can share here. I count that (obviously aside from the atonement and the precious knowledge of the gospel) as the greatest gift and blessing I have. I also love thinking about my childhood and all the fun we had back then. I loved reading this. Thanks for sharing.
Dara, Hi you don't know me, and I don't know you. I actually just had your blog address forwarded to me by my mom, who I guess grew up with your mom?? Anyway I'm 19 and just graduated from Mesa High, (and I'm guessing the Glasgow's are your cousins?? I was in Student Council with Aubrey)anyway, the reason why my mom sent me your blog address was because of this very posting. The summer going into my senior year, my grandma Hale, who lived on Jarvis for over 40 years, suddenly passed away. To make a very long story short, I was devastated. I have never had to deal with something so difficult, and so sudden. I was extremely close with my grandma and so I could not help but cry as I read your posting, because so many of our memories are synonymous. I pray all the time that I may be granted a tender mercy to just dream about my grandma one time. I still long for an official farewell, because by the time I got to the hospital to see my grandma, she was already unconscious and fading fast. Of course, I have to remember it is all according to the will of the Lord, but maybe one day, through faithfulness and diligence, I can have a special moment much like yours. Thanks for for sharing, and I hope you don't think I'm like a total freak ha ha, your blog just gave me so much hope, and I just thought you should know. Thanks!
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